It was only a matter of time before “the economy” caught up with me. As of Monday, I joined the ranks of the unemployed. And if I’m honest I’m quite glad about it (in betweeen waves of terror). Now is the time for me to push forward plans that have been floating around for some time. The economy will be slow, for a while (possibly years), and the idea of jockeying for a full-time position that probably falls somewhere below my skill level does not appeal to me. So I plan to use this opportunity to pursue several projects/ dreams, including a new business partnership and finishing/ publishing some of my writing projects.
At my job (which was a great job in many ways) I felt like I was pursuing other peoples’ goals while I ignored my own. It was not a good feeling and it caused me to resent my work. Which is never a good way to feel. I struggled to motivate myself. All of my productivity techniques seemed pointless when my heart really wasn’t in the results. From now on I am commited to doing work I care about and enjoy doing. The trick is getting paid for it.
The other trick (well, one of them… there are a lot of tricks involved) is not letting fear suffocate me. If I am operating from a fearful state I will make decisions that won’t help me. I wrote earlier about facing fear, and my challenge now is to take my own advice. I’m also realizing that the physical state of anxiety can prevent me from functioning well, so here are some things I do to moderate that aspect of fear:
- Exercise whenever there’s a gap in my day
- Take extra B vitamins
- Hot baths
- Write down my fears so I can see them on paper
- Deep breathing
- Continue my normal sleep pattern
- Minimize alcohol
- Take some down-time to read
- Eat simple, healthy meals
There are undoubtedly many other panic reduction techniques, and we all need them now and then. Take a Xanax if you need to in order to focus on what is really important.
I’ll tell you what’s not important: All those “what-ifs” we all bat at like a barrage of ping-pong balls of a windy day. The inevitable panic that sets in when you get stuck in the “what-ifs” is a symptom of stepping out of the present moment. Stay in it, and everything will be ok. Or, if not ok, at least it will be what it is and not a figment of your imagination.